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All I have left

All I have left of you…

Are two strands of your hair on the floor

I see our half-eaten burritos

Every time I open the refrigerator door

The roses opened up their petals

Like the opened heart they tore

All I have left are the memories

Which shake me to my very core


All I have left of you…

Is your email and your cash app

As I stare blankly ahead into life

Lost in this distorted Old-World map

I am left with reverberations

Of when you used your key to tap

So lightly on my condo door

Until I finally made you snap


All I have left of you…

The waning scent of you in my bed

I don’t want to wash my sheets

For fear that will also soon be dead

I wake up each morning now

With only you in my head

I go to bed in the evening

Full of fear, anxiety, and dread


All I have left of you…

Is your painting hanging by my room

My days filled with virtual meetings

Cisco Webex, phone calls, and Zoom

Who would have thought it would end

In a firestorm of elevators and doom?

You blocked me out so completely

And many days of sadness still loom


All I have left of you…

Are two half-eaten chocolate bars

Memories of us making love

Under the Phoenician stars

All I have left these days

Are all the fights and their scars

I miss my Caiti Princess already

And weekly kingdom that was ours


All I have left of you…

Is your ULTA beauty magazine

And yet my high-rise palace

Is still missing its queen

And I am left to ponder

The things I said but didn’t mean

Broadway shows and Colorado rivers

And all of the other things we’ve seen


All I have left of you…

Is this spare set of condo keys

Views of the Catholic Church

And the shallow roots on the trees

An empty parking spot #205

Brings me to my knees

Come back to my Sweet Caiti

I am begging, asking, wishing - please


All I have left of you…

Is this pain and these regrets

Episodes of “The New Girl”

And unwieldy Wall Street bets

I guess that every man with dysfunctions

Deserves what he so finally gets

“You should have thought about that earlier”

You care not for my AMG and private jets


All I have left of you…

Are stories of your kickball

And memories of that shopping spree

As we galivanted in the outdoor mall

No more trips for iced chai lattes

Just mere hopes that you’ll call

A long hot summer awaits me

Before the chill of a late-arriving Fall


All I have left of you…

A missed chance to kayak with your team

And the memory of you telling me

That you will start to scream

And every single hour these spirits

Still haunt me like a bad dream

They scratch at the walls

And tear at my very seam


All I have left of you is nothing…

These images just a mirage

Trapped in a world of isolation

Of my sins and self-sabotage

The regrets I have now

Destroy my heart in a barrage

There is now just an empty spot

In my underground parking garage

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